true confessions

I have a confession to make.  Most of the time, I’d say a good 90%, I have no idea what I am doing.

I have no idea what is for dinner tonight. Or any other night, for that matter.  Once, I planned a week’s worth of menus and bought all the supplies.  It was nice, I have to admit. I’m not sure why that isn’t a regular practice.

Some people think I’m a pretty good cook.  Mostly, I think it’s just luck.  I can usually tell when the butter and sugar are creamed enough, and when something is “done”.  You can smell it.  But there have been plenty of misfires – the famed Gnocchi Incident, for one.  Let’s just say I leave that to the Professor now.

Now that my kids are getting older, my failings as a parent are becoming more evident.  It’s harder and harder to fake it.  A handful of Cheerios is probably not going to cut it now.  Talk about crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

I can make a decent knit and purl stitch and make sense of some patterns.  But when it comes to execution, I usually end up winging at least part of it.

I can take photographs and some of them are pretty good.  The camera can take full credit as I barely skimmed the manual.  It’s like a foreign language (which is weird, since languages are one thing I actually am good at.)

I have a job, but not a career.  Entirely my own doing.  Some would say I’m pretty crappy at running a bar, too.  But at least it’s still there.

What’s my point?  Actually, I’m not really sure. I write this blog like I do most everything else.  It comes into my head and I put it out there.  Sometimes that can get a person in trouble.  And I don’t know what to make of the fact that this blog will get 40 hits after I post this, but maybe 2 comments.

Maybe I’m hoping to hear there are others out there feeling their way by Braille, that I shouldn’t worry that I’m long past grown-up but still waiting for the real grown-ups to take over.


11 responses to “true confessions”

  1. I think people can consume stuff (blogs, etc.) in so many ways now that it’s hard to comment sometimes. Too much of a PITA to figure out how.

    Yes, living by Braille captures my attempts at competent adulthood perfectly. Unfortunately, when it comes to any of the things of real import, the Braille is in chinese characters too. And I think they have the caps lock key down too… Which is why I yell a lot.

    Oh, and you are a hell of a cook. I don’t think that. It’s not really up for debate.

  2. I know exactly how you feel. But I never would have thought you felt that way, as I’ve always seen you as someone who is terrific at everything you attempt.

  3. You certainly don’t give the impression that you are winging it. You seem to have an innate sense of ‘what works’ with cooking, knitting, dressing, decorating, etc. Of course these are all under your control… It’s the freakin’ dog and kids that have minds of their own and cannot be manipulated to follow your perfect plan! They will be fine though. They have a good role model.

  4. Oh my god, are you kidding me? If I had half the energy and one tiny bit the ambition to actually execute really wonderful things you do, I would be happy. You are an amazing cook, kick ass sewer, best knitter I know and a multitude of other things plus you know how to make an evil cocktail and tell a funny joke. I have no idea what else is in life really. And you keep up the blog. Sigh. Forgot to mention the dang garden that actually grew vegetables.

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