You guys. We did it.

Moms

Mmm, snacks!

Dinner!

So, yeah. The days of endless projects and prep are over. I survived and lived to tell about it.

Thanks for your kind words here and on Facebook about my last post. You guys are the best. And in other news, I just saw the before photos of the kitchen – SCARY. A reveal post soon.

Seriously.

Now that we’ve survived the Holidaze and things are pretty much packed away until next year, I can catch my breath a bit.  And consider 2013.

This isn’t the first time it’s occurred to me that there is entirely too much screen usage in this house. Especially by certain junior members of the household. This became glaringly apparent over Chrismtas break.

They are now completely unable to occupy themselves if there is not a screen of some sort in front of their face. If I told the Boy Child to give the Xbox a break, I’d find him in his room. Watching something on his iTouch. (Normally, he’d be watching YouTube videos of video games, but the iMac is having a rough time of it lately.)

I would not be one bit surprised if webbing hasn’t begun to grow over the top of the Girl Child’s iPhone from her hand. She checks that thing CONSTANTLY. She claims she is multi-tasking.

I am not innocent of this crime, to be sure. BUT I am able to find other enjoyable things to do. I actually SEWED over break. And last night, while muting the gunfire on the Xbox, I READ THREE MAGAZINES. Have to say, it felt great. Peaceful even. I only looked at Facebook like twice, I swear.

So I hereby resolve to be the heavy and institute some sort of screen-free time, for their own good. The Girl Child used to like to write and make art. The Boy Child does enjoy playing Magic, but he needs to find something he can do alone if necessary, to use the rest of his brain that doesn’t involve pushing buttons. We will take a trip to the art store for fresh supplies and see what happens. Hopefully, a little more well-roundedness.

Also more veggies, more exercise, purging, yada yada yada.

But mostly looking forward to gaining some fresh space in the brain for more making and doing things, not just watching other people do them on TV.

Happy 2013.

Truth be told, there has been an obscene amount of struggle in our house in recent months. I chalked it up to hormones, mostly in a certain 14 year old girl child. The tiniest little thing can spin into an argument about god knows what.

Of course, these problems had nothing to do with ME.  I was only trying to help. With my incessant nattering on about things that don’t really matter, it turns out, or things that really should no longer be MY responsibility.

Two days ago there came a turning point. The Geek had been remarking under his breath whenever me and the girl started talking/arguing (sometimes innocently, it must be said) that “someday my family will get along”. I took this hard. To me it seemed like I was getting the blame, ALL the blame.

So I began thinking. What if all this grief WAS my fault. How could I change things.

Maybe it was a little bit about power, that I am the one in charge. But I never meant for that to happen – I really just forgot to notice that they weren’t small anymore. So I realized I needed to let go. I made a list of things I would no longer control, shifting responsibility and consequences back where they belong – to the people making the choices. The Geek thought this meant I was giving up on them. No, it meant it was time for them to stretch their wings a little and see what happened, showing them that I had faith they would make good decisions (ok, maybe this last bit was a stretch).

So last night, I sat them down and explained that I would no longer tell them when to go to bed, to hurry up and eat before school, to empty out their lunchboxes, to change out of hoochie clothes, to clean up their messes, to do their chores. If they failed to do these things on their own, they would be tired, hungry, get the wrong kind of attention,  find dirty dishes in their bed and the screen going dark if chores were not done.

It seemed to light something within them, this opportunity to consider their options without the reminding and haranguing. Was it perfect on the first night? No, I did issue a chore reminder before screen. I figure there’s an adjustment grace period. There was NO bedtime meltdown with the Girl Child though – I went to bed when she was still up. Her choice. I think I will institute a new rule tonight though – no screens after 9 pm. If they really want to stay up they can read or listen to music, but I really think their brains need to wind down without screens.

One thing I WILL continue to track  is homework. It is non-negotiable, BUT still their responsibility. I made the Boy Child search for answers to his math problems on his own. Guess what? He found them when he didn’t think he could. He is beginning to see improvement in all his work and just maybe starting to believe that he CAN do it. Baby steps.

I will be curious to see how things evolve. I am sure there will still be meltdowns over things for no reason – they are still 12 and 14. At least none of them will be me saying “go to bed!” for the 20th time in one night.

Those who know me well would never say I am a tidy person, much to the consternation of The Geek, whose mother is the Queen of All Things Clean and Tidy. I can remember as a kid doing a big clean of my bedroom once or twice a year. It would stay that way maybe 2 or 3 days before chaos began creeping back in.

It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy things being in their place. I just didn’t – and don’t – THINK about it much. I have too many other things going on in my head, too many other FUN projects to do. Cleanliness is not at the top of the list.

Unlike my friend Jody, who has been known to vacuum in the middle of a party and whose house is ALWAYS immaculate. For her, cleaning seems to be a hobby. She is unable to just sit, always has at least 2 or 3 things going at once. I think it’s  a chemical thing.

I have long wished that I had some of that chemical for loving to clean, for keeping The Geek happy if nothing else. I still go through occasional spurts of purging and tidying, mainly to make rearranging the house easier. I get bored with the same view from the couch or the same things on the mantle.

Especially in a house as small as ours, purging is necessary. We just don’t have the physical space for stuff. While I have yet to tackle the garage, I have made progress inside recently. The Girl Child’s room is 90% redone, just needing blinds and one more piece of art – reveal to come soon. I ACTUALLY CLEANED OUT THE DESK DRAWERS, a feat for which I think some kind of award should be earned. I decrapified (soon to be trademarked) the corner by the front closet (we won’t talk about the inside of said closet). AND our bedroom has been tidy for about 2 WEEKS IN A ROW. Seriously. It’s a Christmas miracle.

Maybe it’s taken me 45 years to get to this place, but I’m starting to see the appeal of cleaning as sport/hobby. Things feel easier.  A weight has been lifted – I can open those desk drawers without a crushing sense of shame.  I can walk to my side of the bed without tripping on shoes or clothes. I can almost get to the closet but for the temporary boxes of holiday decor and Airsoft weaponry – a sassy combination to be sure.

I am starting to feel like maybe I can maintain this, like maybe it will creep over into the rest of the house – GARAGE. My kids are not getting smaller – Dean will soon be taller than me. We will need that space to live in soon or go crazy.

I like this little glimmer of how clean people live.  I’m not promising anything, but maybe it’s not too late. Maybe there’s hope for me after all.

I still refuse to vacuum during parties. Gotta draw the line somewhere.