insider

This will come as a surprise to some of you faithful readers.

I am an introvert.

This is hard for some people to reconcile with the fact that I am often the one hosting.

I can’t look you in the eye. I am rarely a hugger. My family doesn’t hear me say I love them enough. That wasn’t the way it was in my family growing up. Would I be different if it was? Maybe, maybe not.

Even though I don’t say it, my friends mean the world to me. And feeding them, gathering them near, is how I show it. It is work – not my natural habitat. Sometimes it freaks me out, but it is always worth it.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Leos like birthdays (my husband notwithstanding – his birthday is today and how we knew it was meant to be). 30 friends are coming over tomorrow, which may well be the biggest group I’ve cooked for. I experienced a moment of panic yesterday – will I have enough food? Drink? What the hell was I thinking?

Then I let it go. One of the things I like about parties is the organic flow, each unique and unknown. But the best part is having my people around me. I love listening to them, hearing what’s new, laughing and even sometimes hugging. Sure, I will need to escape for some peace once in a while (tending the grill is good for that). Friends new and old will mingle and meet and bring me out from the inside.

As one of these friends put it recently, I’m a little broken. We all are. And when I have friends over, all our little broken pieces fit together.

And happy birthday to The Geek. Love you.

Last year's birthday garden party.

Last year’s birthday garden party.

 

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