almost but not quite

I am a shy person.

This will come as a shock to some people, I am sure. But they will be the ones who don’t know me well, who don’t see the effort it takes to go outside myself.

Some people mistake shy for aloof or intimidating. Really, it is just another layer of defense. 

Sometimes, while in a group of people at a party or just people-watching, a feeling comes over me so close and tight it seems like a bubble. That no one else can see into or through, a little piece of time that I could almost fly through to another place or time. Away from this group or situation, into some peace or quiet place, a chance to regroup and recharge.

I try to grab that bubble, but I’ve never managed to hold it tight enough. I close my eyes for the smallest second, listen to nothing, but find myself in exactly the same place.

Such a comfort that bubble would be. Someday, I’ll grab it in just the right spot.




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