Hello? Is this thing on?

To be honest, I’m a little surprised to see it’s only been 3 years since I wrote here. Felt like forever.

But today on the bus with the sunlight and the playlist of favorite songs in my ears, I felt the words. So I’ll put them here, even though they may make no sense to anyone but me. And maybe not even to me.

For years, I’ve felt like I was putting one foot in front of the other, most days the same as any other. Not unique, I am sure, but especially since that idiot was elected the first time and Covid. Those years broke me a little, and then he was re-elected (I still can’t wrap my head around that.)

It’s a slog, this daily making-it-another-day business. I am a giant rubber band ball, wrapped around and around so tightly, the ridges all hardness and rough. I am too much and not enough all at the same time.

But time is slipping faster all the while. The Geek now has Parkinson’s, which may mean some shitty times ahead but is manageable for now. And who knows, something shittier than that could happen tomorrow. One of us has be to the glass-half-full person.

So it’s time to clip that rubber band ball. Let the strands fling away, let the too-much be enough. Let the whirling and out-loud dancing commence. Scoop up my people and embrace new ones. Feed the little sparks of making and friends and words. It’s that light that will save me, let me live big and whole again.

Today’s sparks: I gave my cherries to a woman on the train with all of her earthly possessions in a baby stroller. And the Mountain was out.