The Boy Child started 5th grade yesterday. It was a day we’d been both dreading a bit. He is not as interested in academics as he is in the alternate universe of the Xbox. Last year it was a struggle during homework time, to get him to read, and to practice math facts.  He always wanted to rush through things to get back to his virtual world.  Consequently, he didn’t do especially well on tests at school, which was a cause for concern.

Even more concerning for me, however, was the fact that he said he was dumb or wouldn’t pass 4th grade. It broke my heart. Especially since I had no idea where that came from – certainly not me.  No matter how many times I would praise him for good work or encourage him, it just didn’t click in his head. He put too much pressure on himself to allow himself to see that when he tried, he did better. I would remind him that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes – we didn’t expect perfection – but nothing helped.

The night before school started, we were talking about this because I could tell he was nervous.  I reminded him that he had done really well with his math facts this summer and that 5th grade was a fresh start. And I told him that last year his PE teacher had emailed me out of the blue, just  to say how impressed she was that he took time to help the special needs kids in his class without being asked.  I told him that you can learn to multiply and be a better speller, but you can’t learn to be a nice person.  And I would much rather he be the kind of person a teacher takes the time to email me about, who is kind to people and pays attention to them. I think somehow that made a difference. He seemed to perk up, like a little of the pressure eased.

When he came home yesterday, he said “school was awesome!” I was a little worried when we dropped him off – the classes are multi-grade now, and not many of his friends were in his class. He thinks that’s a good thing – “less distractions”. He seems ready for anything and full of possibility.

Maybe this is his year to blossom academically. Whatever happens, I am already proud.

Tonight was Farmer Fels’ annual Seafood Boil.  Which brought to mind a post that’s been percolating for some time.

I can remember when my parents were my  age. They had a 24 year old daughter, a 22 year old daughter, and two young sons.  I suppose they had a few friends, but none who ever came over. The only people they entertained were my aunt and uncle and grandmothers.  People did not come for dinner, we did not go to peoples’ houses for dinner or parties. I don’t know why this was, because I can remember doing those things as a young child.

This is a crying shame, I think. And nights like tonight bring that thought to the forefront.  I am always grateful to have such a great and eclectic group of friends, but I am not sure they know how appreciated they are. So tonight, I tell them.

Farmer Fels and Mrs. Roos rank right up there, for comfort and ease and cocktails. The geeks for speaking The Geek’s language and bringing that light (or darkness, depending on your point of view), int0 his life.

My oldest friends are from college.  Most of what we did together is a blur, though some things stand out. Perhaps it’s best if I don’t discuss the details here.  Let’s just say that Safeway was not as profitable as it could have been in the late 80′s and we had some fine times at The Pink Door and The Vogue.  And I am forever grateful that Dave had the good sense to marry Sue, and I could meet Bobby.

Some of my best friends now date from the college years but we didn’t know each other well then.  Now we are bound by yarn and gin and Drinkie Cottage. Cheers to you, ladies. I look forward to smoking with you in the Airstream in 30 years.

Some of our oldest and dearest are Roanokers.  You might leave, but you are forever in our hearts and family.

Old friends sometimes branch out and lead us to new roads. Our eastside family  brings me warm and fuzzy thoughts of Disneyland and Turkey Day, camping and cocktails.

The Professors will come for cocktails and wade through the piles to pee, even though they are not dog people.

Yinnie can get my kids Pirate Booty any time, and even though Spike ripped out all my lettuce, he is my own.  A call from the 415 is all it takes to get me on the next plane.

What makes these the precious ones? The ability to leave the dishes in the sink and the pajama bottoms on. The need to say nothing, but understand everything. The history and safety, the looking forward and back.

Don’t think for one second that I don’t know how lucky we are.

Well, it is god’s own sweet mystery how I made it this far.  Yep, this is my 100th post.

So, I decided to put a little more effort into this one.  Usually, I sit down, I write something and I post it. There are no drafts.  I suppose I could have lots of things in progress, waiting to be edited, but I don’t think like that.  I wanted to do something different for the 100th, but was stumped.  Eventually a sort of plan came to me. And it looks like this.

100 BITS OF RANDOM (which is a shit ton of things to think of, let me tell you)

1. I am about to turn 44. Which is how old my mom was when I got married.  I do not feel that old.
2. The view outside my office of the Sound on a clear day is pretty spectacular. I am glad we live by water. I don’t know how people do it in places like Arizona. Or Iowa.
3. I love chocolate. Though not a super huge fan of dark chocolate, even though it is healthier for you. Fruit has no place in chocolate.
4. I am grateful for my girlfriends. You are fabulous and make me happy every single day.
5. I am also grateful for some boys who are my friends. Not everyone gets the best of both worlds, but I do.
6. I do not like to drive on the freeway. It is scary.
7. Someday I would like an Airstream trailer, but a pop-up is more realistic.
8. I often wonder how I got here.  If this is my path no matter what choices I made.
9. I need to clean out the garage. Before the water heater bursts and floods the place.  Also so we can convert that space for actual living-in.
10. I worry about my kids and husband every single day.
11. I have not spoken to any of my siblings in probably 10 months.  I have not actually spoken to my parents in about 3 months, but I do email my mother.
12. I wish I had saved more money when I was younger.
13. I hope to be debt-free (mortage not included) in three years. Yes, we have some big debt.
14. 100 things is a lot.
15. I wish I could sing.
16. Sometimes, I wish I had a real job.  But then I couldn’t write blog posts in the middle of the day.
17. I need to clean off the dining room table. So we could eat there, like real families do.
18. I like lots of kinds of music and books. Except metal and some rap. If you have not read “Rule of the Bone”, you should.  I am reading “Little Bee” right now, thanks to one of the aforementioned girlfriends.  The language is amazing.
19. I may have a slight addiction to social media. Though, I am less on Facebook now due to Google +.  A smaller community without the commercial-ness of Facebook.  For now.  People like to nag me about Facebook. They can suck it. I am the only entertainment some of them have.
20. I would like to exercise more. I doubt this will happen.
21. I like booze.  Beer, wine, the hard stuff. I don’t drink a lot but I drink often. The sight of our little bar with its pretty bottles and wine in the cubbies seems so civilized. I can make a pretty mean cocktail.
22. Church is not for me. I don’t get it. I go to the Church of Stitch and Gin.
23. I would like to go back to NYC.
24. My mother is getting a tattoo soon. I am not making her. No one else knows, including my dad. She’s kind of a bad-ass.
25. I don’t know what to say when people ask where I am from.  I was born in Oregon, lived in Vegas for few years as a kid, and moved to Kent in 7th grade.
26. I am a Leo. Which should explain a lot.
27. I amazed by my son’s ability to play Xbox.  Apparently he has skills bordering on the freakish. I am waiting for this skill to manifest itself in a more useful, i.e. money-making way.
28. I am also amazed by my daughter’s endless capacity to watch any show involving the Kardashians or The Hills. I do not see this as a potential moneymaker.
29. I majored in Public Relations. I work as an office manager and do mostly accounting type stuff. Go figure.
30. When I was in high school, I wanted to be either an interior designer or teacher.  I still would do either of those things. Go figure.
31. Most of the time, life doesn’t work out like you expect it to. Year by year or even minute by minute.
32. I don’t like soggy things. They are gross.
33. I also don’t like runny eggs. See above.
34. That is not a gray streak in my hair. It is platinum, thank you very much.
35. I don’t know if I can make it to 100.
36. My kids are the things I am most proud of. Everyone says that, I know, but it is true.
37. I am scared of heights, spiders and tight spaces.  How cliche.
38. I wish we had redone the kitchen when we moved in. Paint can only fix so much.
39. This will probably be our first and last house.
40. I have a thing for shoes and bags. Also cookbooks.  And fabric. And pretty glassware.
41. If I had to describe my decorating style, it would be mid-century meets Goodwill.
42. Tickling my kids is one of the funnest things on the planet.  Yes, I used funnest in a  sentence. Sue me.
43. I have lived with The Geek longer than I lived with my parents.
44. My camera is not fancy, but it has lots of little buttons and menus that I wish I could use better.
45. I am bad about setting goals, but good about planning.
46. I wonder what I should have already taught my kids, and if it is too late.
47. Not everyone is happy all the time, no matter how it seems.
48. When I am on the bus, I sometimes plan my escape route should it crash. Especially on the bridges. The key is getting a window open before it hits the water. I think I saw that on Discovery Channel. If you don’t, you will not be able to open it underwater due to the pressure.
49. I like to eat deep-fried things; I do not like to do the deep-frying.
50. Halfway!
51. I have a thing for “reality” TV.  Survivor, Project Runway, Big Brother.  It is unhealthy, I am sure.
52. I have five tattoos. And would like to add to one I already have.
53. On our 25th anniversary, we are going to get re-married at the Elvis chapel in Vegas. You are invited.
54.  I like to play word games, but usually lose. I am bad at playing board games.  The rules are boring and confusing. I especially do not like to play with competitive people who get cranky when I don’t remember a rule or I beat them.
55. I would like to take the train to Chicago. Or California.
56. None of our apartments/house have had a dishwasher. See #38.
57. It’s not summer if I don’t make a peach pie.
58. I do not drink diet stuff. It tastes gross and all those  chemicals cannot be good for you.
59. I enjoy cooking things that take a long time. There is something very cozy about a pot or pan of something cooking away on a cold day.  Even better if there is some red wine to go along with the waiting. And a fire.
60. When The Girl Child turns 16, the girls and I are taking her to Paris. I will probably cry when I see la Tour Eiffel.
61. I am constantly wondering if I am doing this right.
62. Top 5 things I make: chocolate cake, pot roast with mashed potatoes and brussels sprouts, pie, chili, lasagna. Cinnamon rolls. Chocolate chip cookies. OK, that’s 7. And odds are those 7 will change 5 minutes from now when I remember something else.
63. Commercials sometimes make me cry. And those dang soldiers-coming-home shows.
64. I sometimes wish I had straight hair. But then I suppose I would wish I had curly hair.
65. I am lucky enough to know some very creative people.  They inspire me.
66. Sometime this summer I am going to go to the U-District Farmers Market and get every single thing to make dinner that night.
67. I am worried I will run out of time.
68. I am happy every day to see our dog, Jack. Though I wish he would stay the hell off the couch.
69. Owning your own business is hard, gratifying, stressful work.
70. Not everyone is  a good person. But I give them the benefit of the doubt.
71. I do not cheat at online Scrabble. But I am sorely tempted sometimes.
72. The proper pant/shoe combination is critical. And socks with sandals are NEVER, EVER OK.
73. I will never jump out of a perfectly good plane or off a perfectly good bridge.  If I need an adrenaline rush, I will buy a pair of shoes or a purse that costs more than $100.
74. I am an optimist. But I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
75. August 1 marks 24 years of being with The Geek.  Next month marks 20 years of marriage.  That seems like something old people say.
76. 3/4 done.  I have a feeling the last 25 will be the hardest.
77. Things I am currently looking forward to: a lovely wedding in Portland next weekend, 4 days in the San Juans, seeing Adele and the Birthday Weekend, and Labor Day in San Fran with drinks on the stoop.
78. I have an ass-kicking sewing machine. I need to use its power for good. First up, a 20′s style cloche hat.
79. If you like fantasy novels, may I suggest the Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews. Not my usual thing, but I am enjoying these.
80. I know the difference between there, they’re, their and it’s, its, and you’re, your.  I try to be patient with people who don’t.
81. I get tired of making The Boy Child practice guitar. I hope he will thank me one day.  As he accepts his Grammy award.
82. Some days it’s fun to be out and about all day. Other days it’s all about fat pants on the couch and a big pot of something on the stove.
83. I can trace my family tree back to a line of lords in Scotland.
84. Jack knows the difference between “walk” and “park”.  If you say “park”, he will wait by the car to jump in. I think this is impressive.
85. I can yell at my kids. Most of the rest of you cannot.
86. Having dinner al fresco in Provence is on my bucket list.
87. If I had the money, I would consider Botox. Apparently I frown a lot.
88. Things I look for in thrift stores: dishes, art, textiles.  Sometimes clothes.
89. Sometimes less is more. But not in my house, currently.  I am working on that.
90. I have made many quilts. I have kept two.
91. I do not understand my son and husband’s current obsession with guns. It scares me.
92. I keep pinning things on Pinterest as a means of remembering them, but I forget to look at them again.
93. I did not know garlic was something you grew until I was out of college. I thought it was something you shook out of a jar.
94. Ditto spaghetti spices. I also thought Kool-Aid was good for you.
95. Holy crap. 5 more to go.
96. I wonder if my kids are making the memories I think they are when we go camping, or downtown, or to SF or the beach.
97.  Sometimes I think it would be interesting to see myself as others do. Then I come to my senses.
98. Voyeurs on social media sites aggravate me. Interact in some way. It’s not that hard.
99. Both of my kids are named for fictional characters from the 60′s.
100. “I love you” and “I’m sorry” should be in every parent’s vocabulary. And used.

If you read this entire thing, kudos to you.  Thanks for making it to 100 with me and putting up with the good, the bad and the ugly along the way.

Wait for it…yep, nothing to complain about.

This past weekend we attended two long-anticipated weddings.  The Geek was a groomsman in one so we attended a few extra events for that.  For me, when there are big things looming on the horizon, I tend to let everything else fall by the wayside, like I just don’t have enough focus for other stuff.  But now that those events are over (and a great time was had by all!), I feel so much lighter!  And even kind of excited to have some free time to get back to house projects and daily life.  This weekend’s weather even reminded me that it is summer!

Sure, there are still lots of full weekends coming up – another wedding, camping, birthdays – but spread out so that we can still squeeze in some normal living.  And appreciate moments as they come.

I am appreciating lots of little things, like helping the Girl Child choose Uggs (saving her babysitting money) and the Boy Child actually practicing his guitar and doing some school work (OK, so he only does it to gain XBOX time; I’ll take it). Their rooms are still hot messes and will require some serious work before the birthday weekend but I am not stressing about it.

I’ve got a couple of little art projects in the works – which will require sorting of piles and purging of crap to make room for doing said projects.  I am actually looking forward to rediscovering my house.  After The Purge maybe I’ll finally get around to painting some trim and getting new rugs.

We are healthy, knock on wood. The Geek’s back is slowly improving.  I need to devote some purging time in the kitchen, and get us back on the healthier eating track.  So easy in a pinch to just crack the mac n cheese or get a pizza.  More fruits and veggies! More time in the farmers’ markets!

I’m looking forward to a couple of long weekend trips – one to SF to visit old friends and one to the coast with the girlies.    The best kind of trips – relaxing and hanging with people you enjoy, eating and drinking and walking.

Yep, I’m pretty full of myself these days.  It’s not like it’s perfect – haven’t won the lottery, house is still microscopic, inadequate in so many ways.  But it’s a  nice change from the sporadic chaos of the last few years. Maybe things are finally getting back on track?

Hope there is peace in your land, too.

good times

I am green-eyed, English-Danish-Irish-Scottish.

I am loyal. If  I like you, I  have your back.

I am not narrow-minded. Which would seem to imply that I am accepting of other people. This is true, unless you think Michele Bachmann is a viable candidate for President or you are going to the prayer event Rick Perry is hosting in Texas in a couple of weeks.

I am creative. I like to make things – things you can wear, hang, or eat.

I am not musical. At all. It makes me sad.  I do have an ear for languages. I once thought of being a U.N. interpreter. That was a long time ago.

I am catty. Sometimes.  It is a flaw.  But I’ve found most people are and if they say they aren’t, they are lying.

I am a good speller. It drives me nuts when other people are not.  Also, probably a flaw, and narrow-minded.

I am not ambitious.  I am motivated in certain areas, but that is not the same. If I were ambitious, I would apply myself and get a fancy job making beaucoup bucks.  I am too lazy.  Also cannot think of  a job I’d like that pays beaucoup bucks.

I am funny.  At least, I slay myself sometimes.  Which is handy, because sometimes it’s all I’ve got.

I am not precise, but I am detail-oriented. See:  spelling.  I never follow a recipe or pattern as it is written, but I can tell if something should hang in a certain place or make a schedule or pack a car.

I am honest.  To a fault.  Also, not diplomatic, though I can spin things like nobody’s business.  This is a problem with people I like, and where the loyalty kicks in.

I am not patient.  I want things done and done now.  I want you to see what I see.  Another flaw, I realize.  Also, see narrow-minded/ stupid people.

I am a worrier. Constantly. About things that haven’t happened and may never happen.  It is a time suck.  Oddly, I am not a pessimist.  I usually think good things will happen.

I am unforgiving. I am loyal til you fuck it up and then that’s it – game over.   Sometimes, we can move on and it becomes something new, but there is no going back.

I am an intro/extrovert.  I enjoy meeting new people, but it is work.  I will probably have a headache when it is over. My favorite people to be with are my family and closest friends, and sometimes even that is work.

I am protected.  It may not seem like I like you at first. It takes a while to get through, but once you do, you’re in. I will be honest but try to spare your feelings, I will help you when you need it, I will sometimes make you laugh, I will feed you and organize you.

I am complicated.