outter january

Maybe it’s because we’ve had no snow this year, and only brief spells of really cold weather, but for some reason it seems like spring is just around the corner. The  green things in the yard seem confused as well.

poppy

poppy

yesterday's raspberries

yesterday’s raspberries

blackbird, i believe

blackbird, i believe

black brussels sprouts

black brussels sprouts

newborn rhodie

newborn rhodie

light to come

light to come

I am excited for days where we can tire ourselves digging and planting, feeling the new heat of spring sun. Civilized cocktails in the fresh air. Shorts and bare feet.

Even more so this year I think. We attended the memorial for a long-time friend  and bar regular on Saturday. He was only 57, and had battled melanoma but lost. His family had a chance to say goodbye properly and maybe get a head start on getting used to the idea that he soon would be gone. The memorial was sad, yes, but also such a celebration of his life. His art was on display and many friends and family shared such great memories of him. I think the joy and love in the room made the sadness so much easier to bear. It was a gift to be there.

A reminder that time is short. Use it well.

current

I may ramble here, as the bits and pieces in my head are not always logical, do not tumble out in order. They are usually connected, but sometimes only by a wispy thread.

Sometimes I go to grab them, but they swim out of focus, or I grab something meant for another bit and can’t make it fit together. Forgive the chaos.

What I mean to say goes something like this.

A longtime friend died too young last week. I am now in the thick of teenager parenting, floundering more and more each day. In the midst of this is middle age – surely I cannot be old enough to be dealing with teenaged offspring – was I not just one?

So it goes like this, bouncing from one thing to another. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes holding my breath til the next ball rolls along. In the flat bits and even better, the good bits, I am storing up little things because I know nothing stays the same. I will need these good bits again one day, and it may come sooner than I think.

I am banking things of comfort. The soft feel of flannel sheets on bare skin. Guests in my house. One-on-one conversations.

The value of a friend, old and new. A few extra dollars in the bank account when usually there are none. My family’s voices in another room on a Sunday night.

Matching socks. A well-made martini.

Candlelight.  An overgrown yard and garage full of possibility. My cookbooks.

Hearing “Mom” and realizing that means me. Running a business that means something to people.

This place, where I put some words and sometimes people read them.

resolve

Seriously.

Now that we’ve survived the Holidaze and things are pretty much packed away until next year, I can catch my breath a bit.  And consider 2013.

This isn’t the first time it’s occurred to me that there is entirely too much screen usage in this house. Especially by certain junior members of the household. This became glaringly apparent over Chrismtas break.

They are now completely unable to occupy themselves if there is not a screen of some sort in front of their face. If I told the Boy Child to give the Xbox a break, I’d find him in his room. Watching something on his iTouch. (Normally, he’d be watching YouTube videos of video games, but the iMac is having a rough time of it lately.)

I would not be one bit surprised if webbing hasn’t begun to grow over the top of the Girl Child’s iPhone from her hand. She checks that thing CONSTANTLY. She claims she is multi-tasking.

I am not innocent of this crime, to be sure. BUT I am able to find other enjoyable things to do. I actually SEWED over break. And last night, while muting the gunfire on the Xbox, I READ THREE MAGAZINES. Have to say, it felt great. Peaceful even. I only looked at Facebook like twice, I swear.

So I hereby resolve to be the heavy and institute some sort of screen-free time, for their own good. The Girl Child used to like to write and make art. The Boy Child does enjoy playing Magic, but he needs to find something he can do alone if necessary, to use the rest of his brain that doesn’t involve pushing buttons. We will take a trip to the art store for fresh supplies and see what happens. Hopefully, a little more well-roundedness.

Also more veggies, more exercise, purging, yada yada yada.

But mostly looking forward to gaining some fresh space in the brain for more making and doing things, not just watching other people do them on TV.

Happy 2013.