This is my friend, Sue. She married a friend of mine from college a few months before The Geek and I got married, so we’ve known each other a long time. They live not far and yet far enough from here that we see each other only a couple times a year, which is plain retarded. She is one of the funniest people I know, and I know some funny people. She is an awesome mom, smart as hell and easy to look at.
Tomorrow is a big day for her – she is getting rid of the boobies that are trying to kill her, a sentiment you can get put on a shirt here. Last month, she discovered she has the Big C. They say attitude is half the battle, and she’s got that in spades. In typical form, she wasted no time in asking the doctors for medicinal marijuana even though she’s not on chemo, and started planning her replacement “porn star” boobs. When she first found out she was pregnant 16 (17?) years ago, she immediately forbade Dave from leaving the house in case she went into labor. Now Dave has bought TWO kits for casting her old boobies in plaster and she plans to bedazzle the hell out of them.
No doubt there have been tears shed over this whole business – it’s scary as hell, and not just for Sue, but her family and friends. Her boys have her back, as do the rest of us, but some people have questioned her decision to lop them both off. It makes total sense to me. Why keep something around you have to constantly worry about, when you can get new, improved versions? I could tell you what she says to people who say “but they’re your womanhood!”, but this is a PG site. Let’s just say her womanhood is located a bit further south.
After the surgery, she’ll know if she’ll have to have chemo. Our presently-bald friend Robert will stay bald in solidarity if that happens – mostly for the suck-up points – and I will make pot brownies (which I may or may not share). I haven’t asked her what the prognosis is because I know she will be fine. You do what you have to do, move forward and hope for the best.
I imagine she will be slightly embarrassed to find herself the center of attention here, but I figure if those of you who stop by to read this can send a few positive vibes her direction Tuesday, that’s 50 or 60 more good thoughts floating around out there that sure can’t hurt. If the worst that comes out of this is a bigger cup size, well, I think it’s something she can live with. Thinking of you, Sue.